Suboptimist
I’m not quite a pessimist. I’m more of a suboptimist.

First things first, WTF?

Unfortunately, that’s as specific as I can be on this forum without being brought up on Masonic charges.

I’ve been way the hell too busy to write in my blog since school started. Such is the life of a grad student. I figured I’d give you all an update on how my classes are going so far. There is no way to justify not going to class this semester. First, I only have three; one each day, Monday through Thursday. Second, all of my professors know me by name. Third, there are only four people in my Wednesday seminar. So yeah, I can’t sluff, notwithstanding the graduate student paradox: we’re held to a higher standard in class while simultaneously expected to research. Meh.

So, Syntax III, the last syntax class I will ever have to take at the University of Utah. Unfortunately, that offers no consolation. I still dread every Monday as a result of this class. It’s three hours long, one day a week. Usually by the end of second hour I’ve lost all will to live. When you’ve lost your will to live, time moves very slowly.

Child Language Acquisition, a normal-length class taught two days a week has the distinguished honor of being the only one-and-a-half-hour class to pass slower than my three-hour syntax class. I honestly stopped caring how the little bastards acquire language. That’s not true. The class is actually very interesting…it just…it’s just not fun.

Seminar in Arabic Linguistics is my most interesting class. The topic is diglossia. My variationist tendencies give me ample opportunity to be critical. At some point, once I hammer out the details, I’ll detail my research for this class.

I’ve finished my last syntax paper. I wish I could come to you saying I’ve finished my last syntax paper ever, but it turns out my tentative schedule next year (my first as a graduate student) will be:

· Child Language Acquisition: I’m taking this because this is what I ultimately want to do with my career. I am in the MA program at the U only partly because I was rejected from everywhere else. I also want to get grounding in phonetics. However, to have any credibility getting into a program with a greater language acquisition/cogsci focus.

· Seminar in Arabic Linguistics &emdash Diglossia: I’m taking this mostly at the encouragement of my adviser. I am also interested in how diglossia in the Arab world is eroding, and how phonology behaves sociolinguistically. Nobody has looked at that in Arabic.

· Syntax III: I really can’t believe I’m doing this to myself. It’s required for my MA, so I may as well get it over with.

Portable Apps is pretty amazing, by the way. I need to find a portable LaTeX distribution on my flash drive so I can edit my TeX documents anywhere. That’d be pretty win.

I am trying to figure out what I am going to do if I am rejected from the U’s MA program. Options range from duck farming to professional freemasonry, to the priesthood, to suicide, and every imagineable alternative in between. The other thing I need to do is find a place to live. I don’t think I can stand living at home much longer. Thus, I hope I to get awarded a TAship or an RAship, so for once, the University of Utah will pay me to go to school.

I’m thinking of taking a couple road trips this summer. While I would love to go to Syria or Jordan for the summer; I don’t think I can afford it. I have options. I’ve thought of heading out the San Diego to visit a brother out there. I will likely take a trip to College Station to visit a certain member of the Node. Basically, I want to use the interim between my graduating college and my potential initiation into graduate studies to do something refreshing.

I want to get into comics. I’ve always intended to get into it in greater depth than I have in the past, but I’ve never gotten around to it. I suspect another member of the node could help me out. Then again, I know he likes superhero comics. Perhaps I will ask him.

You Are a Cadbury Creme Egg

You’re the type that stole little brother’s easter basket so that you could have MORE CANDY!

I am not talking about it here, though.

Interestingly, Sasha’s most recent comment motivated me to write a long response on site, which basically turned into my statement. So, yeah, thanks Sasha.

I guess since I have disappeared for the last little bit, I should give a few quick updates. First, my final list of schools I am applying to is University of Arizona (in Tuscon), University of Washington (in Seattle), UCLA (in…LA), Northwestern University, University of Michigan (Ann Arbor) and Ohio State University (Columbus). Sorry, Emily, but not UT. So, with the application fees and costs of sending transcripts and the cost of the GRE and the extra score reports…roughly 740 USD just for the simple privilege of being considered. Applying to grad school is great.

Planning and carrying out my experiment for advanced phonetics and phonology has become a full-time job for me. I’ve spent most time in the back of the classes I don’t like preparing stimuli and writing the introduction section of the paper. It’s funny I am spending so much time working on it, since it’s doubtful it’s going to be any good (by publication standards). In fact, my professor said as much to us when she assigned it. We’re expected to kind of stumble through it, ask her for help, and continue screwing it up.

I finished Assassin’s Creed over the Thanksgiving break. Wow, that game blew me away. It’s the kind of game that keeps me up the night I finish it researching all the symbolism. Take any Metal Gear Solid story and multiply the weirdness by seven. It was pretty awesome. Maybe I’ll write a review someday. The other game I picked up is Mass Effect. Chances are good that I won’t have the time to play it until the non-denominational-winter-coinciding-with-Christmas break, but when I get a chance to really get into it, I will report. Space opera, ftw.

Anyone living in Utah over the age of 18 who has not taken any Arabic care to be a research subject for me?

What can I say? I haven’t had a lot to say to you people.

I’ll give some updates as to what has been transpiring lately.

First, it’s hard to believe I’m already to October this semester. I am coming along on graduate school applications and will probably take the [computerized] GRE this December. I still haven’t narrowed down exactly where it is I want to apply. The University of Utah is obvious. As a graduate, I won’t even need the GRE. I can only have three others. ETS will only send GRE scores to three schools: University of Arizona, University of Washington, Northwestern University, University of Texas – Austin, Ohio State University and…one other. Honestly, I have an anxiety attack each time I even look at the applications. Poor, neurotic Rob.

Next, I’ve been trying to decide on a topic for my big Phonology III research topic. I’m actually pretty excited to work on the project, but I should, you know, think of something to do first. I considered looking into cross-height vowel harmony, characterized by languages like Kinande, and a rather interesting and not-too-understood Guatemalan isolate called Xinca. However, that’s been taken. Understandably, it’s been taken by my friend whose dissertation topic is on Xinca. Another idea is doing something in the realm of Optimality Theory (I’d link to the Wikipedia article for this, but it sucks). I’ve become pretty interested in learning algorithms, and Optimality theoretic explanations of diachronic phonological change. We’ll see what happens.

I also have to decide on a linguistic variable (specific to Utah) to study for sociolinguistics. While I am allowed to work on the same variable as somebody else, I want to do something unique. It can be syntactic, morphological, phonological…whatever. Any ideas?

Now, I hate to turn this into a LiveJournal post, but I’ve been struggling with the whole religion issue again lately. Spirituality is an important thing to me. A lot of people seem not to me seem not to want to allow me the privilege to worship how I please according to the dictates of my own conscience. The issue arises when I try to bring up religiously neutral topics. It gets frustrating.

In other, less serious news, my Xbox 360 experienced the infamous red ring of death. That pissed me off, now I can’t use my Saturday evenings, typically set aside for the pursuit of frivolity, to play the wonderful Eternal Sonata. Microsoft is repairing (or replacing) it for free, though. That’s not bad.

Finally, in closing, this poignant quote from the first emotionally stable female member of this organization since Meg, Emily Ward:

“Sex is funny.”

So, I’m at work, and the people I usually talk with to pass the time are missing, as if they are forcing me to pass the time by updating my blog instead. Fine.

It turns out that classes start a week earlier than I had expected: August 20^th. Anyone who goes to the University of Utah or is familiar with its academic schedule understands why this is strange. Usually, we start the last week of August, and we usually start on Wednesdays. Perhaps starting on a Monday is intended to make our schedule less bizarre. The typical schedule means we don’t get a full week of classes in until the third week of the semester, but I still feel like I am being cheated out of a few extra days of frivolity in what is shaping up to be my last summer as an undergraduate.

This means that I really have to start getting my $#!* together. I have to buy my books, I have to get ready for the GRE, I need to take the CASA exam, register to graduate, meet with my Model Arab League co-president, etc., etc. It’s amazing how these things sneak up on you.

In case anybody is interested, my class schedule is [tentatively] as follows:

Phonology of Arabic or Java

I don’t know which I am going to take. They haven’t determined who is teaching the former, and the latter could be marketable of I go the HLT route. I’ve taken a couple other classes along the lines of phonology of Arabic, so it may just be a repeat.

Advanced Phonetics and Phonology

I am really excited for this class. I decided that I like phonology enough last semester in intermediate to take the advanced course this semester.

Sociolinguistics

I took an Arabic sociolinguistics course once. I liked it, and this is where I can learn the basic ideas behind what was so vaguely taught me a year ago.

Statistics

Yes, I’m taking a stats class.

Hmm…after I graduate, I am thinking human language technology…

A few gems from the Lord of the Rings Online: Shadows of Angmar Race of Man forum thread entitled, ‘Our breasts are not big enough’:

Maendark187

This is game breaking. DEVS

DEVS!

D E V S !

Tridelo

Snake? Snake?

Snaaaaaaaaaaake!

Jeffredo

Well my male Man (?) has no package. Talk about a nerf.

ZenofAnger

I roffled so hard.

Trixie

Wonder if they will institute the Plastic Surgeon profession in a future update?

Or heck, give us /inflate!

CaitlynJones

While you’re at it, my gluteus maximus could use some adjustments.

The last two posters are presumably female. Wow. I don’t know if anybody remembers my post discussing the Daedalus Project’s discussion of gender. This adds an interesting perspective. A large number of male MMO players have indicated that they play female characters to have something nice to look at. In fact, the female models often sport the ‘magazine body.’ I will admit, in LotRO, the female model is drawn much better.

“The cacophony of groans, boos and applause echoing inside the University of Utah’s Kingsbury Hall was as divided as the men and their politics reverberating on stage,” read the opening line of the Salt Lake Tribune’s article covering the recent debate between Sean Hannity and Salt Lake mayor Rocky “America’s mayor” Anderson. Now, I use the word “debate” loosely, since this was a debate in the same way professional wrestling is a sport, in that it wasn’t a debate at all, really. After all, the Trib sent its theater critic to cover the event. A friend of mine (who shouldn’t have attended to debate in the first place) told me she never felt so embarrassed to be from Salt Lake City, and how she assumed everybody there had been raised in a barn. I don’t know if it was really that bad, I don’t really think the debate was as good for the public discourse as some made it out to be. If you attended the event, you were not helping anything, but you were aiding and abetting a fight.

On wholly unrelated note, this has been bothering me for some time: graffiti on bathroom walls, pee on the seats, and purposeful clogging of public toilets. I see this a lot in the restrooms at the University of Utah. This amazes me. Did high-school freshman start attending the university? I would assume that we had outgrown the stage in our lives when we found stuffing a toilet with the fecal mass of five human bowel movements and an entire roll of toilet paper humorous, an act many of us probably never found amusing in the first place. Let’s restore civility to the campus. While we’re at it, let’s bring back tweed, hats, canes, umbrellas, and smoking pipes. That’s my ideal campus.

This is the first Sunday in a long while when I have been under no obligation to do anything. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself, and obviously promptly updating my blog was did not cross my mind. I decided to clean out my car a little (since I’ve been living in it the last 3 weeks), I intended to vacuum my room, but didn’t, and I read a book in the park. It was a very relaxing Sunday.

I already received an A in historical linguistics. I am expecting the same grade in phonology, structure of Arabic, Shi`ism, and an A- in my remaining two classes. On the whole, it was a very successful semester. I would like to post a couple of the papers I wrote in the near future. But until then…blogthings. Stay tuned for a more substantial update tomorrow.

You Are 52% A Child of the 80s

Back in the day, you were totally 80s. Tubular, totally tubular.

So, I figure I can take ten minutes out to say a few things and post a Sunday blogthing. I am about ready to lose my mind. I have finished 3 of 4 papers, and can’t bring myself to start the final one. I have three finals back to back on Tuesday, and no, I don’t know how that happened. My last test is on Thursday, after which I intend to (i) celebrate and (ii) begin a detoxification regime, because when I am stressed, I eat and drink like crap, don’t sleep, don’t get quite enough exercise, and tend to shirk on simple things like washing my hair completely or brushing my teeth thoroughly — all of which actually increase my stress levels. It’s a vicious cycle, really.

Anyway, here is today’s blogthing:

There’s a 36% Chance You’ve Been Abducted By Aliens

Even though you have a few alien abduction signs, you’re almost certainly in the clear.However, if aliens ever do come to your neck of the woods… they’ll probably be coming for you!