To Heather
Yes, it’s been too damn long since I’ve updated the blog. I’ll do better. Seriously, this time I mean it, even if all I do is comment on stupid Salt Lake Deseret Tribune News posts.
I’ve always felt I was comfortable with death. I was introduced to it pretty early on. I’ve had several people close to me die. They were old and sick. To me, that makes sense. Death is what happens to old and sick people.
My admittedly simple world view was challenged this past week. My good friend and fellow linguistics grad student died in an avalanche last Sunday. It was hard to come to grips with the fact that people my age die so unpredictably.
At funerals, I’m generally the stoic one. I rarely cry at the funeral or upon news of the death itself. Later on (sometimes much later on) I’ll break down randomly. When I first heard of Heather’s death, I spent more time pondering the meaning of death. My conception of death is forged by my Mormon upbringing and my Masonic practice. Pondering this is generally a distraction from the emotional pain of death. Today at the funeral, I ran out of philosophical quandaries to ponder. Today at the funeral, I shed actual tears.
Heather loved to dance. She would dance spontaneously, even at times when it seemed to me to be inappropriate. A beautiful hymn was played — “Lord of the Dance”, set to the tune of the Shaker hymn “Tis a Gift to be Simple.” During the fourth verse, I couldn’t contain myself:
I danced on a Friday when the world turned black
It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back
They buried my body, they thought I was gone
But I am the dance, and the dance goes onDance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said he
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said he
We’ll miss you Heather. Keep on dancing.
December 21st, 2008 at 1:18 am
i hope you can keep dancing too. those who are gone too soon breathe upon us life and wonder.
be well brother.