Suboptimist
I’m not quite a pessimist. I’m more of a suboptimist.

I found out about this from The Onion before I saw it in the real news.

There is currently a debate among linguists as to whether linguistics (or, at least theoretical linguistics) can aptly be considered an empirical science, or if it should be classified among non-empirical sciences like formal logic and pure mathematics. The debate has been particularly strong among laboratory phonologists, phoneticians, and psycholinguists. Having become very interested in laboratory phonology, I would contend that linguistics has the potential to be an empirical science. I could write all day about the arguments for and against that proposal, but the real issue behind this [short] update is to indicate to my vast audience whether I would want to be called a scientist or whether I want linguistics to be called a science. In short, the answer is a qualified no, the qualification being that linguistics has the makings of an empirical science. My reasons for this view are, naturally, not based on a solid foundation of reason.

I know scientists. I have friends in the science departments around the country. I know the feelings of other scientists in the positivist and relativist schools of thought, and I can hear the subtle prejudice against behavioral and cognitive sciences in Ira Flatow’s Science Friday (”That’s a claim even a sociologist could make”). The use of the term ‘hard science’ reveals the same prejudicial attitude prevalent among the scientific community. If this  exclusive club can’t accept an important field of inquiry, I am not entirely sure I want to be a part of it.

Lastly, I hate the way science is treated in popular culture. An attentive observer will hear the words ’scientifically proven’ thrown around a lot. People look to science as if it yields answers. It doesn’t; it yields bigger questions (which, of course, I love). If you are looking for answers, turn to philosophy, math, and/or religion.

EDIT:  Sorry if you read this pre-edit.  My spelling goes to pot when I am pushed to moralistic indignation. Also, I think the same kind of feelings are had by many individuals in applied sciences, like engineering and computer science.  Sorry for exclusions.

If you’re not familiar with Conservapedia yet, I highly recommend you make yourself acquainted with it, you know, to save yourself from the liberal propaganda peddled by Wikipedia. In all seriousness, though, the Wiki site created by the son of Conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly really is fun to read, if only to be amused by a presentation of brilliant idiocy. What caught my eye today was the article on Noam Chomsky (a more balanced approach here. Now, I may be falling in with a crowd of linguists that find themselves at odds with the Chomskyan tradition, but I think this characterization of Chomsky’s work is pure bullshot.

Generative Grammar

Noam Chomsky advocates the view that the human brain has innate ability to generate gramatical [sic] sentences, thus all utterances which is deemed sensical [sic] to the speaker is necessarily grammatical, and the only role the liguist [sic] should play is to decipher its grammatical structure. This view has been criticized by many linguists as nihilistic in that it rejects the notion of ungrammatical sentences. Noam Chomsky also pointed to instances of infants utter grammatical sentence fragments they have not been taught before as evidence for Generative Grammar.

Okay. What? First of all, how is Generative Grammar nihilistic? Second, this misses the point of generative theory entirely.

Universal Grammar

Noam Chomsky also proposed the theory that a kind of universal grammar, a grammar that underlies all human languages, is hard-wired in the human brain. Thus all human languages are fundamentally the same, with only superficial differences. This theory of universal grammar has been criticized by linguist Geoffrey Sampson as being not falsifiable, arguing that the grammatical generalizations made are simply observations about existing languages and not predictions about what is possible in a language. To this day, the search for such universal grammar has been fruitless.

For decades, Noam Chomsky and his followers have been trying to make sense of sentences such as:

Who will be easy for us to get his mother to talk to?

which are deemed to be ungrammatical by a lot of linguists; by using techniques such as linking theory, anti-c-command requirement, A-positions, Bijection Principle, weakest crossover configurations, bound variable anaphora, asymmetric linking, licensing conditions, index of apronoun [sic], null operator analysis, variable binding, configurational [sic] conditions, inappropriate and appropriate antecedents, etc.

I am not even sure how to parse this, especially that, “the search for such universal grammar has been fruitless.” So I am not even going to try. What I will say is how funny it is that apparently, according to our moral superiors at Conservapedia, the theories contained within Chomsky’s generative approach have disproved his theory of Universal Grammar. I guess there are wackos (on both sides) that will take non-political details of people they don’t like and find a way to politicize them.

There are valid criticisms of Chomsky. I am not completely convinced of Universal Grammar or the Competence-Performance model, for example. There is experimental evidence that could refute the latter (which is based on an “ideal” speaker-hearer community, i.e. two people) in that uniformity impedes language acquisition. Additionally, when linguists hear an utterance, they are only measuring performance. Competence is, for all intents and purposes, off limits to measurement.

Tomorrow I will likely become a serious academic blog again. Today, however, I have some observations to make.

Hidden costs of education suck.

Seriously: parking passes, calculators, prints and copies. I hate my life already.

WebCT is pure, unadulterated Satan.

Still, everyone uses it.

I hate describing linguistics to non-linguists.

It’s really hard. How do I describe a broad discipline in five sentences? Even worse, when I tell people I am a linguistics major, the inevitable follow-up is, “How many languages do you speak?” I experience similar frustration with telling people I am an Arabic major. “Do you want to work for the CIA?”

I make really weird purchases at Smith’s Marketplace.

The last purchase I made there was a mallet, a pipe wrench, and a toothbrush. Tonight, I purchased 100 lbs of top soil and 5 bottles of Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine shampoo. You know, for my marvelous head of hair.

Mine is a blog featuring seasonal fare. Enjoy this last frivolously-themed post, as I start school next week, and the site will likely become another journal of my adventures in linguistics.

A few days ago I posted a conversation between Dan and me. In case you were totally blown away by what we were talking about, the topic was the age-old role-playing game, or RPG, in this case we are discussing computer/console RPGs, not pen-and-paper. There are several sub-genres of RPGs. Among them:

Western RPG: Typically played on the PC. This is probably why I prefer them, since I was introduced to them first. Usually they are set in a high fantasy setting. The game mechanics are borrowed from pen-and-paper games, such as dice rolling. Character customization is usually very robust, and character leveling is slow. In combat, position and movement are stressed, given the genre’s wargaming roots. Notable titles are Baldur’s Gate, A Bard’s Tale, Ultima, and Neverwinter Nights.

Japanese RPG: This is probably the most popular sub-genre of RPGs. Typically played on game consoles. The games are a little more scripted, and the gameplay is very cinematic in nature. Developers usually develop their own combat system, though may borrow elements from previous games. The player is usually given a pre-made character to play. Like traditional Western RPGs, the combat system is usually turn-based, but the positions are fixed. Combat is usually randomized, which is a holdover from when the console hardware did not permit rendering enemies on screen. Notable titles: Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, and Lunar.

Tactical RPG: Over time, this became one of my favorites. Neither the East nor the West has an absolute monopoly on this genre, though it was probably invented in Japan. It walks the line between role-play and strategic wargaming. Notable titles: Disgaea, Fire Emblem, Fallout: Tactics, Final Fantasy Tactics, and the upcoming Luminous Arc, and possibly Mass Effect.

Action RPG: A relatively newgenre focusing less on turn-taking and more on reflexes in combat. Notable titles: Diablo, Fable, Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic, Jade Empire, and a few of The Elder Scrolls games.

Recently, Dan and I have been struggling to get each other to play certain games. He has been trying to get me to play a traditional Japanese RPG. I have attempted to play a couple of RPGs produced in Japan, but none of them have been traditional. I played Kingdom Hearts, but that played like an action RPG. I also played Final Fantasy Tactics Advance and Fire Emblem, but those are tactical. I had an interest in Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles but that was action and cooperative. Perhaps it is hard to find a game to use to ease myself into the JRPG. Enter Eternal Sonata, game taking place inside Chopin’s dreams hours before his death.

I downloaded the demo over Xbox LIVE last night before heading out to see a movie. When I came home, I decided to start it up and give it a shot. The world of Chopin’s dreams features an engaging and fun battle system that walks the line between action and turn, stressing the importance of position and ability rotation.

The character models feature exquisite cel-shading (I am a sucker for cel-shading) and the environments are lush and colorful. Even if the game doesn’t feature what I love about Western RPGs, I would be willing to play the game simply for how beautiful it looks, especially when played in 720p on my PC monitor. I think this will end up being a very successful release for the Xbox 360, and perhaps an opportunity for me to discover that character customization and dark high fantasy settings are not necessary to enter the world of role-playing.

Clearly, I am not alone in my desire and intention to replay the entire, ridiculously funny Ratchet and Clank series on the PS2 again:

Nick Chester

I have no idea why (*cough*), but I have this sudden urge to replay all of the old Ratchet and Clank titles, so by the time you read this, I should be doing that.

What can I say? Platformitosis is a contagious and possibly fatal disease. As the Reverend has informed me, the only cure is FUN! I am not entirely sure why the action/platform genre has such appeal to me. The focus on gameplay above all else is something altogether lacking in today’s market focused on producing mind-blowing graphical technology and more first-person shooters. In a discussion with the Reverend we came to a conclusion that this may also be why the platformer has become a niche product. Of all the recent (read, last 5 years) titles in the genre, none have approached anything close to the financial success of franchises like Halo, and Call of Duty. Such is the world we live in.

Anyway, on the topic of platformers, there is a game I have been searching for in local purveyors of electronic entertainment: Psychonauts for the [original] Xbox. Perhaps poor marketing prevented the game from being a financial success. I tend to think the game was DOA for one reason: it was released on the [original] Xbox. People were too busy playing Halo. I found a great article about the game on Destructoid’s Bargain Bin Laden. Since I know nobody ever clicks the links I provide, I will post the funny part of the article here:

Note: originally in green and black, like an old text RPG. Some language has been censored to comply with Central Node guidelines

You are in the food court in a large shopping mall. The bustle of commerce, overworked mothers with corrals of screaming kids and hulking football jocks chasing underage girls are all around you. In your pockets you feel a hunk of cash that totals somewhere around nineteen dollars. To the north you see a GameStop, its sign glowing like a neon pyre beyond some clothing shops and an Orange Julius. To the west is a Hot Topic, where fat goth chicks are comparing suicide scars. In the display window you see a Mega Man t-shirt on a rack, a sign of your culture being co-opted by people who were never beaten half-retarded for being geeky in high school. Those ####s.

>go west

A cloud of misery and failure blocks your path. You cannot proceed.

>look north

You see a GameStop. Your wallet aches.

>check wallet

Did I say wallet? I meant wad of cash. You have nothing else in your pockets except a burning desire to continue on your quest. Examine that, jerk.

>examine desire

I can kill you, you know.

>n

You are standing in front of GameStop. For reasons unknown, a small unattended boy of about 12 is tearing shelves asunder and screaming a wide variety of curse words that are most likely not acceptable around his parents. The employee at the counter seems exhausted, flabberghasted, and without option.

>ask child to leave

I don’t know the word “ask”.

>call security

I don’t know the word “call”.

>ruin child’s psyche

That’s the spirit. You tap the child on the shoulder and identify yourself as a family friend and ask if they told him about his adoption and real parents yet. The child sobs and runs out of the store. A tranquility sets into the store as the clerk welcomes you. “Anything I can help you find?”

>ask employee about Psychonauts

The clerk looks confused. “Psychonauts? I’ve never heard of that game.” You describe the game briefly as a platforming adventure that, while not as commercially successful as the developers would have hoped, enjoyed widespread critical acclaim and remains a cult classic for gamers around the world to this day. “I’ll check the system,” he says, looking up the title on his computer.

>specify platform

While he searches you make clear your intentions to purchase the Xbox version of the game, as the PS2 port suffers some pretty vicious slowdown and doesn’t look nearly as pretty as a game with such outstanding art design absolutely deserves. The clerk offers a half-interested nod and continues his search. “Looks like we’ve got one copy. I’ll get it for you. Did you want to reserve anything today?”

>no

The clerk looks dismayed. “Psychonauts is, like, two years old. Don’t you want Halo 3? We’re only getting enough copies to meet our preorders, and you won’t be able to find it anywhere after that.” He’s a lying sack of ####.

>give money to clerk

The clerk sighs and digs the game out from behind the counter. “So what’s so great about this game anyway?”

>geek out at clerk

You insist that Psychonauts is one of the best platforming games on any system, carrying on the gameplay traditions of forerunners like Banjo-Kazooie and combining it with Tim Schafer’s brilliant design abilities as demonstrated in previous work such as Grim Fandango, Full Throttle and The Secret of Monkey Island. The creative character designs and stunning level design, particularly when invading the deeper reaches of the various subconscious minds you’ll meet on the way, mark it as one of the most visually appealing titles of its generation. It’s an insanely funny adventure that owes a great deal of its value to the talented scribes that penned the rich story that serves as the game’s backdrop. It’s not only a gas to play, you stipulate — it’s one of the best-written games ever.

The clerk scoffs. “Reading is gay. What kind of multiplayer does it have?”

>strangle clerk

That wouldn’t be appropriate, not here. Maybe in the parking lot once his shift is over.

>correct clerk

You set aside your burning fury to a place in your mind where it can be unleashed upon the innocent at a later date. You tell the clerk that it has no multiplayer, but is challenging and engrossing enough to make you wish that more developers would take risks, forsake the shallow multiplayer campaign route and devote more time to crafting such an excellent single player experience as can be had in Psychonauts.

The clerk looks confused. “How many guns does it have? What vehicles? Hey, you know who rocks? Marcus Fenix. That guy ####ing rocks. $13.68 is your total, by the way.”

>pay clerk

You hand the sweaty wad of cash to the clerk. While he’s ringing up your purchase, you note that combat in Psychonauts is also heavily tied into its concept and art design, taking advantage of the “psychic adventure” end of things and exploring creative ways of fighting, manipulating your environment and getting from A to B utilizing a litany of psychic abilities. You offer him a weak smile, the sort that says ‘that’s cool, right?’, in effort to appeal to your shared heritage as gamers.

There is a protracted silence as the clerk stares blankly at you. “Listen,” he says, “That sounds cool and all, but if I don’t get enough pre-orders for Halo 3, my boss will yell at me. Come on, it’s the best game of all time. Seriously, my dad works for Microsoft, I already have a copy. It’s awesome.”

>pre-order halo 3

A sharp pain hits you in your lower abdomen. Your breathing seizes up. You begin bleeding internally!

>wtf

I warned you, dude.

>cancel pre-order

That’s more like it. Now take your game and leave before something worse happens to you. Want to know what it feels like to have worms eating away the part of your brain that governs hormonal distribution? And here’s a follow-up question: ever think to yourself “gee, I’d like to have breasts”?

>take psychonauts

You pick up the game and turn to leave. The clerk wistfully wishes you a good afternoon, returning to his daydreams of Master Chief soaked in baby oil.

You are outside of GameStop.

>inventory

You are carrying:
One of the best damn games ever made
Your dignity

(11:24:37) Dan Iverson: Let’s have a conversation.
(11:25:00) Robert Sykes: We are having one.
(11:25:36) Dan Iverson: But let’s have one about something specific.
(11:25:50) Robert Sykes: K. Topic?
(11:26:36) Dan Iverson: I’d like to know what exactly you enjoy about
WRPGs and what you perceive to dislike about JRPGs to help me decide
which one you’re going to play.
(11:28:26) Robert Sykes: I like the emphasis on character development
within a narrative, rather than a narrative with characters that don’t
necessarily need to be there. I also prefer a more open system of
combat.
(11:29:01) Dan Iverson: What do you mean by open?
(11:29:40) Dan Iverson: More action-oriented?
(11:29:57) Robert Sykes: Yes.
(11:31:03) Dan Iverson: Hmm.
(11:31:17) Dan Iverson: But you like strategy RPGs, which are the
herald of turn-based systems?
(11:32:51) Robert Sykes: This is true. Somehow, I see a difference in
T-RPGs and JRPGs with a turn system. A focus on how to position your
characters, from which angle to attack, order of attacks, and unit
balance within a role-play scenario.
(11:33:46) Dan Iverson: Ah, okay. That makes sense.
(11:34:19) Dan Iverson: Another question: Can you forgive a somewhat
formulaic plot if the character development is strong?
(11:34:54) Robert Sykes: I probably could.
(11:37:14) Robert Sykes: I have also noticed in recent years that
barriers seem to be getting withered slightly.
(11:37:42) Dan Iverson: Barriers?
(11:38:21) Robert Sykes: There is a lot more borrowing recently.
(11:40:51) Dan Iverson: Do you like a high level of customization?
(11:41:02) Robert Sykes: Yeeeeeeees.
(11:42:47) Dan Iverson: Do you like to advance the narrative at your
own pace and have frequent opportunities to explore by yourself?
(11:42:59) Robert Sykes: Yes.
(11:43:12) Robert Sykes: Again, a complaint I had with Fable.
(11:43:40) Dan Iverson: Hm. This is tough.
(11:45:28) Dan Iverson: I’m not trying to find you a JRPG that is
exactly like a WRPG, because that would defeat the purpose of this
exercise…but I’m trying to find something that sort of walks the
line between both worlds and in a best case scenario serves as a
transition should you decide you like the Japanese elements.
(11:45:47) Robert Sykes: This is a great exercise, too.